jim jong il golf

Chairman Meow Challenges Kim Jong Il to Golf Match

chairman meow

Chairman Meow scours the globe for “the best”: Glorious Leader Chairman Meow is always looking for phenomenal athletes, fighters, and brilliant minds to test his superior skills against.

According to reports from the official North Korean goverment media, Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer to ever play in the history of the sport.

Chairman Meow wants in on that action.

Kim Jong Il Shoots a 38 Under Par

Official reports out of North Korea’s capital, Pyong Yang, have claimed that Kim “enjoys golf” and shot an amazing 38 under par the first time he tried at the capital’s (only) golf course in 1994.

This means that according to his score keeper, Kim Jong Il finished the 18 holes in a mere 34 strokes. This is even more amazing, considering that Tiger Woods best score was a 66 in his 19 under par at Augusta; a feat considered by many to be “the best game ever.”

The North Korean government media added that Kim shot “multiple hole in ones” as well as acing another 5 holes. According to North Korean government sources, this super-human feat has become routine for the “Dear Leader” Kim Jong Il, as the media notes that he “routinely shoots three to four holes-in-one per round.”

kim jong il golf water hazzard
Kim Jong Il fearlessly surveys water hazard

3 Hole In One’s (In One Day) is Pretty Darn Good though

Once again, we must consider what an incredible achievement this is; Golf Digest estimates the odds of an amateur getting a single hole-in-one to be over 12,000 to 1.

The odds of two holes-in one in a single round, about 67 million to one. Chairman Meow would tell you what the odds of shooting three holes in one are, but your head would explode.

Chairman Meow officially Challenges Kim Jong Il to Golf Match

Chairman Meow Says: “I haz been waiting for a worthy adversary to test my golf superior game against. Although Chairman Meow haz never played a full 18 holes of golf, I am quite confident that I could beat score of “Dear Leader” of North Korea.

Principles of golf same as principles of batting around ball of string, so transition for Chairman Meow will be very simple. Plus, I have recently begun strength training with same routine that help Pat Robertson leg press 2000 pounds.”

chairman meow lag

But, isn’t Kim Jong Il Dead?

Chairman Meow responds to this detail by reminding Mr. Il that death never stops the great ones.

Did Jesus just give up & retire after he was crucified, or did he stage the biggest comeback ever? (aka “The Resurrection®” ) Chairman Meow himself has nine lives, and does not let a trifle such as death get in the way of a round of golf.

Chairman Meow is available for match any day in next month, except for Wednesday evenings, when Chairman Meow enjoys observing “Honey Boo Boo” on human television channel, TLC.

Chairman Meow haz spoken.